Yes, I do accept your declaration of war

I've been busy recently. I've been working on my current project with the affectionate working title Autumn Novel. This is manuscript three and one that I'm extremely excited about. I've also been working on the formatting stuff for Sophie and Dion (debut novel) which will be out in the next month or so. Then I've been working on querying my second manuscript as well. There's so much more ground work to the writing business then I would have expected.

So thanks to all of this I've been quiet on the blogosphere. I thought that I'd share the music that has been inspiring me recently as penance for this. Enjoy!

We are never ever getting back together - Taylor Swift
Rolling in the deep - Adele
Why do you love me - Garbage
Wide Awake - Katy Perry
Not ready to make nice - Dixie Chicks
Breathe - Taylor Swift
Somebody that I used to know - Gotye
Part of me - Katy Perry
So what - Pink

How I write and doing things your own way

When I first decided to make an attempt at writing seriously, I failed.

My first proper novel sized project was about spies, secret societies and national secrets - and remains unfinished. The idea came the way most of my ideas have, I had a vivid dream that stuck with me after I woke. Within a few days of obsessively thinking about it I'd created characters with motives and back stories, I had subplots and something that I never had before a well thought out ending.

So, without much of an idea how to proceed, I put fingers to keyboard and I started writing. There were so many things that I didn't know, but the thing that I learned most quickly is writing is hard you guys. The majority of the time words don't flow from my mind on to the word document, some days its like I imagine running a marathon is. I can spend an hour staring at the screen and write a handful of sentences.

Upon discovering this I started to do some research. How do others do this? I wondered. Surely other authors must not have this issue, how else do they churn out story after story? I read Steven King's On Writing but felt like a failure when I was unable to finish the ten pages a day that he suggests. I read Maggie Stiefvater's blog where she says the key to success is having a strict plan - choose a time to write and adhere to it. I couldn't do this either, throughout high school and University never was I able to stick to a study schedule. This was no exception.

There are so many different writing tips out there if you go looking. Jeffery Deaver writes with his eyes closed, so as to envision the scene better. There are so many different techniques that are suggested for plotting; write character profiles, detailed synopsis and fleshing out each chapters before beginning.

I spent too much time trying to implement suggestions then I did writing. After twenty thousand words I was crippled with self doubt and the project died.

So when I had the idea for debut novel Sophie and Dion months went by before I started trying to write it. I was far too scared. But I did start and I kept at it until I finished. I'm not sure what the difference was, but I learned a valuable lesson - you need to do things the way that suit you. I can't structure my writing time - the same way I couldn't stick to a study timetable - I write when the urge hits me. Whether that be on my phone at a train stop, or scrawled on a spare piece of paper at lunch. I've written chapters on my Blackberry beneath the table at restaurants, at the beach and even in hospital when I had food poisoning. I am most creative when I allow myself to be spontaneous. I also learned that I'm a "pantser" rather then "plotter". That is to say I write by the seat of my pants. I don't spend hours on plots or character development - because the truth is I do most of that in my head. I spend hours day dreaming and fleshing out my characters in my mind until I know almost every little piece of them. Before I start writing I know the general structure, I write the scenes that I've seen in my head on post-it-notes so that I can visualize this and arrange them. I write down snatches of dialogue and build a plot around these.

I think that this is good advice for anything in your life that you want to do - whether that be running a marathon, saving money or raising a child. Read others advice and learn from it. But you need to do things the way that suits you, otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure. >

Why I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey - EL James

I don't normally like to write bad reviews - whether it be for a book, movie or any other form of pop culture - because I respect art and its artist. Just because I don't like something doesn't mean that hundreds of other people didn't love it. This especially goes for books. It gives me an eye twitch when I read authors writing sledge-hammer reviews of other writers work. There are enough critics in the world without us tearing down each others works as well.

That being said a lot of people have been asking for my opinion on Fifty Shades of Grey - EL James. I find when people ask for your opinion, they're actually asking you to agree with theirs. So I guess a lot of women have been reading the novel and asking me to gush over it with them. But I just can't.

I originally read Fifty Shades because a blogger that I have been reading for a few years was promoting it on her blog. Hers is one of the few blogs that I have found that talk about women's empowerment and sexuality, she's strong and independent and someone that I truly admire. So when I bought my own copy of Fifty Shades I was extremely disappointed. Not in the book, necessarily, but rather with the women who are reading it and have fallen so in love with its story.

Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic fiction novel that was originally written as fan fiction of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. The protagonist, Anastasia Steele, is an inexperienced and naive young woman. When she meets multimillionaire Christian Grey she is instantly taken with him. On the surface he is enigmatic and charming, the epitome of the perfect man. Yet as Anastasia begins spending time with him she discovers that he is a sexual deviant with a love of S&M. One who wants to have a Dominant/Submissive sexual relationship with her.
For myself none of this was particularly confronting, it was not the first erotic fiction novel that I had read. It was the next part, the part where he writes her detailed contract including what she can eat, wear and how often she can exercise that I found difficult to swallow. Christian Grey is a misogynist who enjoys sexually punishing women and wants no other intimate relationship with them. For him women are a sexual toy and he doesn't not respect them as equals.

I think that it is okay to write controversial characters. Some of the best novels that I have read have had protagonists with outlooks that I very much disagreed with - Heathcliffe and Cathy in Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte, for example. But it is important to have a balance. There is a big difference between having a controversial character and promoting a morally wrong message. This is where I feel that Fifty Shades falls short. For the majority of the story Anastasia remains submissive to Grey in all aspects of her life, only at the very end of the book does she make any attempt at changing the tone of their relationship.

Through having such a submissive protagonist EL James is telling women young and old that it is okay to be treated with the inequality and manipulative control that Grey treats Anastasia. It is absolutely not. We live in a society where men still do not respect women. On the rare occasions that I go to nightclubs I have men touching me completely inappropriately and uninvited - and when I push them away they are surprised and annoyed. Because that is the social norm, I'm supposed to just accept it. The society that we live in tells girls not to dress a certain way, not to leave their drink unattended and not to go out at night alone - or they are putting themselves at risk of men. We teach young women not to get raped rather then teach men not to rape. That is the hard reality. Those who are influential in the creation of pop culture have a moral obligation not to promote this message. And I honestly feel that EL James does.

Strong, beautiful women who I admire have been swooning over these books for the last few months and I find myself disappointed in them. I understand its appeal. The majority of the public haven't been exposed to erotic fiction before. Its a novelty. But to be completely honest its not even a particularly good example of its genre. Go out and buy Bride Stripped Bare or With my Body both by Nikki Gemmell. Those are much better erotic fiction novels. Without the degradation of women.

Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey? Comment below, I'd love to hear what you thought.

An update and *no* my novel is not like Twilight

Last week I handed my manuscript over to the editor, to weave their magic. I'm conflicted about this, in one way I'm excited for it to be made shiny and take the journey from manuscript to novel. In another its like handing over my first born to a complete stranger and hoping that they take good care of it.

At least there is now progress! It's hard to believe that this is real. It still hasn't sunk in that I'm a few short months away from being a published author. Some days I'll be reading one of my favourite author's blogs and getting a case of life jealousies - only to have to remind myself that this is all within my reach.

So while my first manuscript is getting its face lift I'm querying my second, and slogging through my third. So I guess that I've reached a point where I can call myself a writer, without mumbling it under my breath or blushing.

When I started writing my first manuscript, I didn't tell anyone. I spent a year living a secret life, because I was embarrassed about the dream that I was harboring. It was only once I had a publishers interested in it that I stepped out of the metaphorical writers closet, and I quickly wished that I could step right back in. People suck - not that, that probably comes as a surprise to anyone. But *seriously*. Here are an example of the reactions I have gotten when I've confessed I've written a novel.
"Paranormal Romance? So it's just like Twilight?"
"It's about vampires... Right?"
"It's not like Twilight? So it must be similar to Harry Potter?"
"You wrote a novel? Have you read Fifty Shades of Gray?"

Okay, so not everyone has been so negative. I'll admit the majority of people in my life have been supportive. And I'm very thankful for that.

It's my intention to do a better job of blogging. So stay tuned for more. Otherwise follow me on Twitter. The link is over that way >>>>

Rachael x